Resolve

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The pages of my 2012 calendar have blown past in a flutter and flurry of plastic and paper. Already there are just a few more date boxes left on December, waiting to be crossed off with a bold red X. Another year full to the brim with great moments and memory: lots of laughter, tears, smiles, and joy.

This year held several monumental moments for me: graduating with my BA in English, the birth of my second nephew Thomas, witnessing the engagement of several close friends, and most importantly (for me, anyway!) my marriage to Mr. Amp Hobbs.  Its hard to comprehend how so much can happen in one year--and it makes me wonder what adventures and stories the new year holds.

We know the future constantly shifts and grows--changing its shape as we make daily choices and follow new bends in the road. But yet we still--bravely and perhaps a little foolishly--attempt to plan and scheme and plot our life. I'm not exempt from that drive. In fact, I am the consummate list maker. Mark constantly teases me for writing a list for everything--groceries, packing, cleaning, design projects...You name it, I probably have it organized and prioritized into a militaristic row of bullet points.

Its just a simple truth: goals and purpose make me feel good, secure in myself. If I have something I'm striving for then feel like I'm going somewhere in life. Even if that somewhere is just down the block to the yarn store, buying the skeins for my next project.

"New Years resolutions" are a long standing tradition. Bloggers, tweeters, and facebookers throughout cyberspace are posting their plans for the new year. At the risk of this post becoming another cliche little fish in that pond, I am going to go ahead and share my own personal goals for the future.

So here follows my little hopes and dreams for 2013. Let's see how quickly they adapt and change as life happens, shall we?

• writing goals- All of you have by now guessed that writing is one of my greatest passions. I can be found scribbling away in some form or another everyday. Be it lists, letters, ideas, blog posts, poetry, essays, or creative non fiction. Lately, however, I've begun working primarily on what I hope will evolve into a young adult novel. My writing goal, then, primarily focuses on that project. I want to have 50 pages written by my birthday--February 6th. Think I can manage that?
• Etsy goals- One thing I love about Etsy: the teams. Teams give you a chance to meet other artists in your area and expand your own online business. Recently, I joined the Maryland Promotions Team whose leaders often challenge its members to setting personal shop goals. My 2013 shop goals include: adding a scarf a week , adding 2 more paintings in January, adding 2 knitted hats, and adding a set of painted coasters a week. Sounds like alot, doesn't it?
• physical goals- At least four times a week, Mark and I work out together at the gym. His personal trainer side comes out and I find myself on all fours--pushups until failure--or repping out curls. Sweat beading my brow, I curse and spit at the effort, but later when I see my muscles appear and my figure becoming leaner--I have to admit I love it. I need to improve my cardio, however. So running at least four times a week will be a "goal"--and probably the one I'll break the most often. But also there is The Great Impossible for girls-- pullups. Yes. I want to be able to easily do five. And since right now, one is a struggle, this goal may take a while to accomplish. But hey-- I have 12 months. 
• personal goals- They say marriage reveals traits in the one you love--traits you never knew before. But it reveals traits in your own self as well. Traits you may or may not have known about. Let's be honest--marriage and living alongside another person, day in and day out, is a different kind of responsibility and challenge. You can't hang up the phone or storm to your bedroom just because you're frustrated. You are part of a team now--you vowed to keep their interests right up there alongside your own. Even sometimes above your own. For me, marriage has revealed my short patience. I so often want something done--here, now, immediately. I want immediate results from others, yet, on the flip side, so often want patience and tenderness shown to myself. I love Amp more than anything else I've ever loved in life--and he deserves the best me that I can give him. So for 2013, I want to work on my patience and I hope that it will filter into all aspects of my life: in my work, my relationship, my writing, and my meditation. 
• career goals- Master's degree-- yes. I want one, so badly. I have already made a list (surprise surprise) of the universities to which I plan to apply. So, here over the next few months, I will be sending out my transcripts, application essays, letters of reference--the whole please-educate-me-I'm-worth-it gambit. And we shall see what comes if it-- trust me, I'll be letting you know what I hear! 

I think that's enough planning for one day. Those are my expectations for 2013-- I know I'll fall short and far exceed one or more of these plans as life unfurls. But I still can't wait to see what direction 2013 takes us in--and I'm so glad to have my Mark by my side as we take it on together. 

Love you all, readers!

See you after the new year!